Everything you need to know

Instead of getting kids back on track, we are more interested in catering to union bosses who control what happens in the classroom. We didn’t even know that students can’t read at grade level. So what are we doing about it? Removing accountability standards in the classroom and allowing more money to flow to union bosses. Who needs to learn to read, anyway?

And a note to parents – we’re not sure where this “parents-should-control-what-is-taught-in-schools-because-they-are-our-kids” is originating, but you are not the client of the public school; the community and the public are the clients.

Fixing the economy isn’t a priority. We’ve left that to President Biden. After all, Governor Whitmer said that “Bidenomics is working” so it must be true.

Still somehow struggling to afford the basics? Check out your local food bank!

Instead of cutting taxes for Michigan families, we’re giving your tax dollars to corporations to subsidize their business costs. They all promise to do their best and provide as many jobs as possible. However, there have been some setbacks, like paused production, shrinking site footprints, and posting salaries that will be less than the average income in Michigan, but what else are we supposed to do? Not spend your money on projects that are too good to be true?

Michigan is full of farmland that grows food for our communities, state, and country. But picture this – farmlands full of windmills and solar panels, relying on the weather to power every home and business in Michigan. Sure, these structures pollute the soil, making it unusable to grow food, and increases water usage, but this is the best way to please the extreme environmentalists within our party

We’re so glad you asked! In order to make life more difficult for business owners, we want to pursue more anti-growth policies and limit competition among businesses. We’re also working to ban gig work, destroying independent contractors and their livelihoods across the state. Does that answer your question?

We think Michiganders aren’t paying enough in taxes. That’s why AG Dana Nessel reversed a permanent income tax cut that Republicans enacted. We need more money to pay for the $80+ billion budgets that we craft, and need the money to support subsidies for wealthy corporations – where else are we supposed to get the money from?

Our Green Energy policies are intended to protect Michigan’s vibrant environment. From the lakes to hiking trails and city parks, rest assured that our Green Energy policies will provide more help than harm*.

*Side effects of our Green Energy policies may include but are not limited to:

• Supporting slave labor 

• Paying $2,700 more to rely on wind and solar power

• Expediting pollution through manufacturing wind turbines and solar panels

• Threats to topsoil on farmland

• Noise pollution

• Unelected bureaucrats overriding local laws

Apparently, some people think, “girls and women in Michigan deserve to have equal opportunities to showcase their talent and compete fairly”, but really, we don’t see the point.

We know young people are leaving Michigan. The Governor packed the Michigan Growth Council with experienced individuals, but we failed to listen to input from young adults who will be burdened with higher taxes caused by our reckless spending. But we still can’t figure out why we struggle to retain young people in our state. There is a report somewhere with some insight, but it’s on a shelf collecting dust. 

Instead of keeping seniors safe, Governor Whitmer locked them in nursing homes with COVID-positive patients while healthcare officials advised against this (but what do they know!) We know countless seniors died in nursing homes – away from their families and with no one to comfort them – but it really wasn’t that many seniors based on our own calculations.

We believe voting – the cornerstone of our democracy – is the most vital of all civic duties. Therefore, we’ve made it easier for people to vote and have opted for relying on the honor system when it comes to protecting voting and the outcome of elections. No ID? No problem! Just promise on a piece of paper that you are who you claim to be.

We’re working hard to allow undocumented immigrants into Michigan. Our latest feat? Banning the use of the term ‘illegal immigrants’ for lawmakers. Republicans had a good point when they highlighted that fentanyl is coming over from the border, posing a health and safety risk to our communities. On top of that, we want to ensure illegal immigrants have drivers licenses, disregarding their citizenship or immigration status and making it easier for illegal immigrants to live in the US.

Governor Whitmer said it best – she supports the ‘spirit’ of defunding the police! Plus, we’ve supported criminal reforms that would allow violent offenders back on the street sooner than expected. So if burglars are breaking into your house, or if you’re scared a convicted murderer will live in your neighborhood, be sure to thank the Michigan Democrats for doing the most to protect criminals and endanger Michigan families.

Good news — thanks to us, Michiganders can expect to pay $2,700 more a year for energy costs. Our green energy policies will ensure you pay more for less energy!

We have never once served special interest groups. That’s insane! Why would anyone ask us about special interest groups? We would never put special interest groups ahead of people! 

What better way to hold corporations accountable than supplying them with billions of dollars in taxpayer-funded subsidies for projects that turn out to be much smaller than planned? Corporate welfare is the best way for us to pick the winners and losers in Michigan’s economy. While corporations and C-Suite folks win, Michigan middle and lower-class families lose. Sorry!

The Governor wants to defund the Auditor General’s office, whose sole purpose is to audit the government. They uncovered that the state underreported COVID deaths by over 40%, and examined the multiple vulnerabilities in the UIA’s system which cost the state billions in fraud claims. Plus, the Auditor General recently found that MDHHS Child Protective Services investigators are not conducting in-person assessments with suspected victims of abuse or neglect, and are not complying with child protection laws. But again, the Governor wants to defund the Auditor General – and we get it. Who needs someone to keep the government departments in check? Not us!

We believe that Lansing knows what’s best for your communities. That’s why we weakened the power of local governments, specifically when it comes to approving green energy projects. But don't worry – unelected bureaucrats and allies of Governor Whitmer will decide and overrule what happens in your communities. You’re welcome!